How bright does one have to be to figure out that if you put hair on someone’s sandwich, they are going to find it? Apparently you have to be smarter than Ryan Burke of Evesham, NJ who pleaded guilty to putting chest hair on a police officer’s turkey, egg and cheese bagel. 27-year old Burke claims that he had issues with the officer over a run in prior to the hairy sandwich incident. If that’s not bad enough, the hairs that were on the uneaten half of the cop’s morning meal were sent to the lab for DNA analysis and results were conclusive that the hairs belonged to Burke. I’m sure that the New Jersey taxpayers are just overjoyed that their tax dollars have been used to determine the rightful owner of some nasty ass chest hair found on a sandwich. What kind of assclown pulls out his own chest hair anyway? Oh, this one in Evesham, apparently. Gross.
Burke was sentenced to 15 days in jail and 2 years probation he also gains the coveted title of “ex-cook” ………..
“EVESHAM — How much time in the slammer does one deserve for putting pubic and chest hairs in a police officer’s breakfast sandwich?
At least 15 days and two years of probation, according to one Superior Court judge in Mount Holly.
Ryan Burke, a former cook at a Marlton restaurant, earned that sentence last week after pleading guilty to charges he doctored an Evesham officer’s turkey, egg and cheese bagel sandwich with a few choice morsels.
The 27-year-old will serve his jail time on weekends, according to police.
Burke was a line cook at Good Foods to Go last February when he put the body hair in the sandwich of an officer who had stopped by the restaurant along Merchants Way, police said.
It wasn’t the first time Burke and the officer had crossed paths; a year earlier, the officer stopped Burke for a traffic violation.
Police said at the time of his arrest, Burke confessed to defiling the sandwich and said he did so because of ill will toward the officer.
As the for the partially consumed sandwich itself, police said they confiscated it and sent the hairs to the state police lab for analysis.
The hairs were ultimately determined to be a match to a DNA swab taken from Burke. While Burke, who was immediately fired from restaurant, told a reporter the charges were ‘ridiculous’ after his arrest, he ultimately pleaded guilty to aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and retaliation for a past official action, police said.
Reached at his home on Tuesday, Burke declined comment.
He was sentenced Friday by Judge Charles Delehey.”
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